Holly’s Corner: Hover Monkeys

I know sharing what you write technically allows for criticism, however, I’ll go ahead and say it, “don’t judge me.”  I recently finished listening to Spared by Prince Harry.  Ok, fine… judge away. 

If I am being honest, I enjoyed the book.  My husband and I started watching The Crown (yes, I know, historical fiction at best) last year so I feel like I have some context and perspective.  One dialogue caught my attention when Harry speaks about his training with the Apache Helicopter.   

"But flying helicopter, I learned, wasn't the hardest part. Hovering was. At least six long lessons were devoted to this one task, which sounded easy at first and quickly came to seem impossible. In fact, the more you practiced hovering, the more impossible it seemed.

"The main reason was a phenomenon called 'hover monkeys'. Just above the ground a helicopter falls prey to a fiendish confluence of factors: air flow, downdraught, gravity. First, it wobbles, then it rocks, then it pitches and yaws - as if invisible monkeys are hanging from both its skids, yanking. To land the helicopter you must shake off those hover monkeys, and the only way to do that is by... ignoring them.

"Easier said. Time and time again the hover monkeys got the better of me, and it was small consolation that they also got the better of every other pilot training with me…”

We celebrated January’s investment returns and run from February’s.  Now entering March with either optimism or pessimism I am reminded of the hover monkeys we should ignore, yet rarely do.  Air flow is the data we receive about earnings, jobless claims, interest rates and the next industry bubble; the downdraught are the talking heads in the media, paid to bring on fear and question the state of the country and world; and finally, the gravity is the lingering war in Ukraine, the horrific earthquake in Turkey & Syria and the lingering division of Covid.

These hover monkeys make your portfolio seem to wobble, then it rocks it down a few points and finally it pitches up, then back down again and you cannot take it anymore...  Just doom and gloom.  The hover monkeys signal you to move to cash, buy gold, consider the next crypto and derail your long-term portfolio design. 

And while telling you to ignore the hover monkeys is the right thing to do, psychology & experience would suggest something more.  You need an experienced pilot, a wingman or instructor to talk with.  You need to be reminded that these particular hover monkeys are temporary and that this too shall pass.  Call your advisor.  Talk with them about what you are hearing, reading, or thinking.   Harry and I wish you a safe landing. 

- Holly